Advice for the New Survivalists

Imitation is said to be the sincerest form of flattery, but imitation combined with ignorance is just plain dangerous. Stemming from the fear and calamity of Trumpismo is a very curious trend. People of the Left are arming themselves. With firearms! But they are still of two minds. In the interest of public and personal safety, and the charity burning deep in my heart, I’d like to share the lessons of Conservatives learned since the French & Indian War.

If you buy a firearm, whether pistol, shotgun or rifle, go to an NRA safety course. I know, I know. NRA are all fascists and so on and so forth. But think about it. How are you going to keep from blowing your fool head off? Oh sure, you could to go to the heavily armed bodyguards of your state anti-gun group leader. That anti-gun leader could likely teach you all about concealed carry, but that may cause cognitive dissonance in your mind. Stick with the Declared Professionals like the NRA. You’ll learn not to kill yourself and no mental cheetah flips.

If you want to buy a firearm, first decide on what problem a firearm will solve. Hunting? Okay, what are you hunting? Birds? Elk? Your .22LR Compact may not solve your problem. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice from more experienced people. Case in point: the problem I wanted to solve was protection from grizzly and brown bears at close range. So I asked my co-authors here and BullNav was on point with a recommendation of a .454 Casull.

Your Leftist and Progressive friends don’t know guns. They know gun control, which is confiscating guns. They know if the firearm is black, it’s an assault rifle. If they say they have knowledge, check to see if it came from playing video games or watching “Die Hard.” Just. Don’t. Ask. Them. Stick with Declared Professionals. You’ll get the right firearm and no mental cheetah flips.

Take a Hunting Safety course offered by your state Fish & Wildlife service. The woods are not a free-fire area (“free-fire area” means you can shoot at anything that moves or doesn’t move). No critter wears International Orange. No mental cheetah flips!

Take the hunting safety course even if you’re a vegan. Seriously. Now, I wouldn’t recommend going into the woods as a vegan, since in the woods vegans are known as “prey.” Don’t confuse a hunter with your veganism.

Red Cross offers classes on first aid, CPR and other medical courses. Take them! Look at your local community college for classes offering medical knowledge and technical knowledge. Lt. Col. P has many good resources and tips in this area.

Camouflage works depending on season, and region. There’s a reason for that, and it’s worth educating yourself. But if you insist on ignorance, go with International Orange from head to toe.

If you want to live off the grid, you have to consider a few somewhat critical problems.

Transportation: vehicle, animal, or feet?

Not all AWD and 4WD are the same. Where do you plan to live after the Trumpocalypse? Your Volvo may work, along with the Subaru. You’ll have to give up your Beemer I-series though. And every hybrid. If you want to live off the grid, you need to find a vehicle built before 1993. Between the early 80s and 1993, computers were installed in vehicles to help drivers control braking, turning, and gas consumption. After 1993 the computers came with transmitters. Today vehicles are fully loaded to be a fully functioning node in the internet. You can be found! Worse, if the computer fails, you’ve got an un-drivable hunk of junk. So, off-grid = pre-1993. Warning: your driving style will have to change since you won’t have multiple computers to co-think/co-drive with you.

Horses, mules, and donkeys are good. Critters aren’t like cars – if you piss them off, a swift kick to your head or a bite on your ass may just be in your future. You will have to put aside your Leftism and learn the animal. Observe them. Pay attention. You don’t want to have a significant emotional event by feeding the carrot into the wrong end. Ask a Declared Professional – taking riding lessons and consider the animal: a Percheron and a mustang are both horses, but designed for different roles.

Travel by foot is good but there is something you may have to consider. How much weight can you carry mile after mile? Food, ammo, clothes, first aid pack, sleeping gear – it adds up. Whatever you don’t take equals risk. No tent? You risk not having dry shelter in the rain and snow. No spare clothes? Good luck with that! There are many people who hike the Appalachian Trail, and other trails who write about loads and where you can accept risk. If the article centers on a specific widget from a specific manufacturer, the article is an advertisement. Just sayin‘. Find some Declared Professional, usually with experience in the Boy Scouts, or App-Trail group.

Buy books that are useful and fun to read. Winter nights are long. The Farmer’s Almanac is good, along with the field manual on survival, and how to brew beer, mead and wine. Always good! If you’ve connected with Declared Professionals – anyone with lots of experience – you will know what you don’t know. Take the time to think about the problem of not knowing what you don’t know. Using your brain instead of following the crowd will be painful. So. Very. Painful. But soon your curiosity will bloom, and suddenly you’ll realize you’re a free-thinker!

There are other tips, and I do hope our readers will chime in with suggestions. I should warn the Leftists and Progressives. If you pursue a life of independence, you may not want to return to a life of having someone else tell you how to live. For decades folks cloistered in extremely expensive condos, surrounded by armed guards and hirelings for interaction with the peasant class have told you that guns are bad. That grass is bad. That happiness is found surrounded by thousands of people taking the high-speed train to a cubicle farm, and you can’t remember what the person who stood next to you was wearing.

It’s a risk. I’ve met many a former Progressive who discovered that life lived in liberty is richer, fuller, and that adventure is found in the sheer inconvenience of it all. No corner Starbucks. No Whole Foods nearby – you have to remove the weeds and the critters attacking your garden. Hunting leaves you cold, wet, overheated, hungry, and exhilarated at being a Have-Done, not a Have. But it is still a risk.

Good luck avoiding the Trumpocalypse! Welcome to the life of the Deplorables!

Über DaveO

Retired soldier, micro-farmer, raconteur and pet owner from the great state of Oklahoma. Wandered in as a frequent commenter and have been enjoying blogging ever since.
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6 Antworten zu Advice for the New Survivalists

  1. rustybill schreibt:

    „…since in the woods vegans are known as ‚prey.’”

    Vegetarian: Old Indian word for „bad hunter“.


  2. ultimaratioregis schreibt:

    Sound advice all around, DaveO! And is it too soon to point out the irony of the Bolshie Blue Staters keeping and bearing arms as the last redress against the tyranny of government? Just wondrin’….


    • DaveO schreibt:

      Have at it. The Cult of Progressivism will have to come up with new, ‚revealed gospel‘ to explain this newfound yearning to be free. It by definition can’t help itself with Big Government to tell it how to live so we should help those with a newfound belief in individual human liberty. Normally I’d recommend investing in a gun maker, but the mental conflict between the cult’s teachings and this new revelation will be a yuge for the pharmacy and booze business.


  3. vmijpp schreibt:

    Oh, holy shit– that made my Sunday!


  4. burkemblog schreibt:

    Here’s a recent New Yorker article on the topic: 1. make a billion dollars. 2. Move to New Zealand.


    • DaveO schreibt:

      Thank you Professor! Good advice though the super-rich already have nefarious ways of creating their own refuge within the US of A, with Facebook’s owner joining the craze. Cuz he’s against hate.


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